[[Dear Effie and Haymitch,

Next Time, please shut the door.

Sincerely,
a very tired and very disgusted Peeta]]

[[Dear Haymitch,

You left me. When the arena exploded, you left me and let the Peacekeepers take me away while you went on your merry way to District 13. Yet, you saved me in the end. 

I don’t know if I want to scream at you or kiss you. Why the hell do you keep on confusing my feelings, Abernathy!?

Effie Trinket]]

[[Dear Snow,

I thought you were evil when you killed my whole family and sent 24 kids every year to kill each other. But when you imprisoned Effie Trinket, one of your own loyal followers, I knew you were the Devil Incarnate.

I hope you burn in hell,

Haymitch]]

[[Dear Effie,

Bug off, will you? It’s the Capitol’s fault that Maysilee, my mom, my little brother and my girl died. I refuse to waste my time with you freaks. Go annoy Plutlartch or something, but please just leave me alone.

Sincerely,
Haymitch]]

[[Dear Effie and Haymitch,

I know what you did on that elevator.

Sincerely,
Katniss]]

[[Dear Effie and Haymitch,

Some of us are trying to sleep. Can you keep it down a little? And no, we won’t eat at your house anymore. Seems like you don’t really use that dining table properly.

Sincerely,

Peeta]]

[[Dear Haymitch,

My corset feels really tight. Mind loosening it for me?

With love,
Effie]]

[[Dear Haymitch,

Not liking my dress? How about what’s under it?

Yours,

Effie]]

[[Dear Movie Effie,

It’s just a table. Get over it. 

Sincerely,
Book Effie]]